10 Days and 10 Nights
by Mrs. Rosalie Lillian Hale
Summary: OMGizzle, you got girlish Whitelighters, horny demons, and all four Charmed Ones trapped inside the Manor for 10 days! You absolutely HAVE to read! According to my BFFs it really funny and quite disturbing. Review, sil vous plait. IT'S SO TOTALLY RANDOM!
1. Chapter 1

Day 1

Leo orbs in behind Piper.

"The Elders are doing an evaluation on us, so they're going to trap us in the house for 10 days." Leo tells her.

"You said what now? They can't do this! This is so stupid! How are we gonna keep our sanity with The Bitch, The Slutty Whore and The Pasty Half Dead chick?" Piper asks.

"I don't know, but we'll manage." He goes to give her kiss and she backs away. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I just had garlic bread." She explains, and then walks out.

Later…

"When you kiss me! Fever, when you hold me tight! Fever!" Paige, the palest chick on Earth attempts to sing, and then someone pulls back the shower curtain. "Cole! What are you doing?"

"Do you want me to go?" He asks.

"No, it's just I wasn't expecting you so early." Paige says.

"Can I join you?" He wonders.

"What about Phoebe?"

"She never has to know." Cole whispers.

Meanwhile…

Leo is in his and Piper's room with Wyatt and Chris. He's writing in his diary, Wyatt's throwing athames at baby Chris telekinetically and Chris is orbing from place to place.

_Dear Bill,_

_The Elder are keeping me stuck in this house with my strangely arousing wife and her crazy ass sisters. Sigh. I miss Cole. He never comes to see me anymore. Piper and I haven't been intimate in while either. I think she's avoiding it. Anyway, I'm going to go jack off in the basement pipe. Cya!_

_Hugs and kisses,_

_Leo_

"I say, father, do you think you and mother will get together soon and make Christopher and I a little sister to 'play' with?" 2-year-old Wyatt asks.

"Wyatt, Daddy's gonna go have some alone time." Leo tells him.

"You mean you're gonna go jack off in the basement pipe." Wyatt mutters.

"So, do you think you could watch you're little?" Leo asks.

"Very well, but if we don't get our little sister soon, we will obliterate you." Wyatt points his finger at his father.

Leo chuckles. "Thanks buddy." He walks out.

"Come Christopher, we must find mother." Wyatt looks over at baby Chris. "Are you eyeing me, little brother?"

Cut to Phoebe…

Phoebe is in her room, sleeping, naked after having sex with Cole. Actually, no one really cares about this slut.

Cut to Piper and Prue…

They're in the parlor watching the movie Mallrats.

"So… how are you and Leo doing?" Prue asks casually. "Thinking about having more kids soon?"

"Ever since Leo started jacking off in the basement pipe he's become sterile. Why are you so interested?" Piper questions. "After all, I am the one that had you killed."

"No, I was just thinking, since he's sterile now, that I could… you know…" Prue lingers.

"ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?! WHAT IN THE HELL, no pun intended, WOULD YOU THINK THAT I WOULD EVER LET YOU FUCK MY HUSBAND?!" Piper fumes, and then punches Prue hard in the stomach, causing her to go unconscious.

"Piper?! I got stuck again!" Leo yells from the basement.

"I'm coming!"

TBC…


	2. Chapter 2

Day 2

Wyatt walks into the kitchen, where Piper is making coffee.

"Hey, sweetie." Piper greets.

"Mother, Christopher and I have been thinking and we want a little sister. Now, you can either grant our request or perish." Wyatt threatens, and then yawns.

"Aww! Did you not get enough sleep last night?" Piper asks.

"It seems as though all my plotting with Christopher has not left much time for sleep." He yawns again. Piper picks him up and he instantly falls asleep.

She walks upstairs, goes into her and Leo's room and puts Wyatt in his crib in the closet. She walks out of the closet and suddenly notices Cole, completely naked in her and Leo's bed.

"Cole, what the hell do you think you're doing?" Piper asks, sternly.

"Come on, Piper, you know you want this." Cole gets off the bed and walks over to her.

"That is true, but I have an obligation to my husband." She steps away from him.

"That's exactly what Leo said… minus the husband part." Cole tells her.

"Wait, you hit on Leo?" She asks.

"Yeah, I've seen him with his shirt off and woo!!" He explains dreamily.

"Right. You will stay away from my husband and I will not have to vanquish you're sorry ass." She tells him, and then looks at his… um, guyhood… and smirks. "And you'd better bulk up if you ever wanna get with me."

"You mean Leo's got a huge…?" He asks thunderstruck.

"You better believe it." She walks away with a huge smile.

Later…

"Piper! Why can't we get out of the house?" Prue asks, along with Phoebe and Paige.

"You idiots, we've been trapped in this house for 36 hours. The Elders are evaluating us for 10 days, including yesterday." Piper explains.

"What?!" the three scream.

"Do you fuckers really need for me to repeat myself?" She asks.

"No, just dramatic effect." Prue explains, and then slaps Paige in the face and Phoebe slaps Piper.

"What the hell was that for?!" Piper and Paige demand.

"Because you tried to replace me, but everyone knows I'm better than you!" Prue yells at Paige.

"I just thought it was a new game." Giggles Phoebe stupidly, but then Piper bitch slaps her and punches her in the nose, making her bleed and run out of the kitchen.

"First, I didn't try to replace you; They didn't want Piper and Phoebe to suffer because their dumbass big sisters ran into a wall and died. And second, I'm way better than you will ever be, bitch." Paige orbs out and Leo orbs in.

"Hey, honey." Piper greets.

"Hey."Leo gives her a kiss on the cheek. "You wanna go upstairs?"

"We can't, Wyatt and Chris are plotting something weird." Piper tells him.

"Chris can't talk." Leo says.

"Yeah, I know, but that whole brotherly bonding thing is important at this age." Piper reasons.

"Well, I'll go upstairs with you Leo." Prue smiles seductively at Leo.

"The hell you will." Piper hits Prue over the head with a frying pan. She continues to beat her, and then puts down the frying pan and looks at Leo. "If you touch this slut you won't have a penis in the morning, got it?"

"Got it." Leo nods obediently.

Meanwhile…

Phoebe is playing cards with the Source in the parlor.

"… and then she slapped me in the face and punched me in the nose, which made it bleed. And it hurt, so I started to cry-" babbles Phoebe.

"Will you shut up?! Jeez, you're so annoying! Just don't talk to me ever again." The Source shouts, making Phoebe cry. "Man, don't cry."

Piper and Leo walk in holding hands. "Phoebe, what's wrong?"

"The Source… h-h-he yelled… a-at me." Explains Phoebe between sobs.

"Source, say you're sorry." Piper demands, firmly.

"But I-"

"Do it."

The Source sighs. "Fine. I'm sorry, Phoebe."

"That's a good boy" Piper smiles at him, and then she and Leo go upstairs to see Wyatt talking to Chris who gurgles and turns to Piper.

"Mama."

"Oh my God! Leo, he said his first word!" Piper picks up Chris and Leo picks up Wyatt.

"Yeah, he can walk too." Wyatt mumbles.

TBC…


	3. Chapter 3

Day 3

Prue is in the basement, slow dancing with a dark figure.

"You're a great dancer." Prue tells him.

"That's not all I'm great at." He laughs, and then pulls away from Prue and waves a hand in her face.

"That won't work on me." She laughs.

"Really? You're greatest fear is… that I won't be good in bed." Barbas moves into the light and looks at Prue.

"Yeah, that's it. Now, let's find out, shall we?" She kisses him hard on the lips.

Meanwhile…

Leo walks into his and Piper's room, where Piper is sleeping under the covers naked, by herself, so he gets undressed, gets into bed and wraps his arms around Piper, which causes her to stir and wake up. She turns to face.

"Mmm, hello." She greets with an inviting smile.

"Hey. Why are you naked?" Leo asks.

"I felt the need to be naked at the time, but I was having the most amazing dream about you and me…" She whispers the rest seductively in his ear.

He stares at her in awe, and then climbs on top of her and kisses her passionately on the lips, but she pushes him back a little.

"I don't think we should." She tells him.

"Please, Piper, it's been weeks and I really want you." He gives her a puppy dog face.

2 minutes later…

"God, Leo!" Piper screams from under the covers with Leo on top of her. "Oh, God, yes, Leo!"

Phoebe walks in.

"Piper, will you help me?" asks Phoebe.

"Oh, yes!"

"Okay, I have a problem."

"Oh my God! Keep going!"

"What do I do when I see my sister doing something bad with a demon?" inquires Phoebe.

"Faster, go, faster!" Piper shouts.

"I can't talk any faster, Piper, jeez!" complains Phoebe.

Piper pulls the covers back a little and Phoebe gasps. "Phoebe, get the fuck out of my room! Oh, God, Leo, yes! Oh, yes!"

Prue runs in.

"Gosh, Phoebe, stop being a little tattleta-" Prue stops short.

"Holy shit! Leo, you feel so good!" Piper cries out.

"Jesus, Piper!" Leo exclaims.

As Piper reaches her peak she lets out a distinctive high pitched scream, to Leo's satisfaction. Leo waits a couple of seconds and lies down on top of Piper with his head resting on her chest.

"Oh my God, that was amazing." Leo pants.

"No, that was so much better than amazing. That was indescribable." Piper tells him, running her hands through his hair.

"I cannot believe what I just saw. Mine was never that great." Prue whines.

"That's right, then only two guys willing to sleep with you after we became witches, either died or went to prison." Piper laughs.

"Shut the hell up you bitch!" Prue shouts at Piper, making her chuckle.

"Excuse me, but if my memory serves me right, you were the one that turned into a dog, not me." Piper retorts as Paige orbs in. "Okay, I'm trying to have an intimate day with my sterile husband.

"Actually, he's not."

"Okay, total déjà vu, I had a feeling you weren't." Piper runs her hands up and down Leo's back.

"Wait, you're not mad?" He asks.

"No, I mean we might get that little girl I saw in the future." Piper smiles.

"Okay, Phoebe, why is Piper the only one with kids?" Prue asks.

"Because the stork doesn't like Cole." Says Phoebe.

"You know what; it's useless to talk to you." Prue leaves the room as Grams comes in.

"Grams, what are you doing here?" Paige asks.

"The Elders sent me down and Piper, what are you doing?" Grams questions.

"I'm lying in the aftershock of the indescribable sex I just experienced with my non sterile husband." Piper grins.

"Yeah, see, I have a problem with that. If I'm not getting any, you shouldn't be able to either." Grams says.

Piper then lets out a yelp and makes face. She wriggles around and Leo laughs. She struggles to regain her composure. "Um… um… wh-what are you SAYING exactly?"

"She means you can't have sex anymore." Paige says.

Piper laughs and then makes a weird noise. "I have- I have a problem with th-that."Leo moves down under the covers and Piper's eyes widen. "Oh, Leo! Oh my God, Leo!" She grabs onto a pillow and the sheets. She bites her lip, closes her eyes and starts panting, resulting in unsteady breathing pattern. She opens her eyes and moves one hand to caress Leo's hair from under the covers.

"Should we leave, now?" asks Phoebe.

"Only, if she tells us to." Grams whispers.

"Oh, God, Leo! I can't take it anymore! Please! Please, God, Leo!" Piper screams, and then Leo moves back up her body, slowly and pulls the covers over them completely.

TB C…


	4. Chapter 4

Day 4

Prue walks into the kitchen wearing an I Heart Holly Marie Combs t-shirt to see Phoebe and Paige are too.

"What up with the shirts?" some random dude asks.

"Who are you?" Paige questions.

"Oh, I'm Craig, but most people call me some random dude. Okay, bye." Craig fades away.

"Damn! He was a potential sex partner." Prue says, admiring her awesomely awesome shirt.

"What about Barbas?" asks Phoebe.

"He left me for a Fury! He said they have more facial features." Prue tells them.

"But they look like dogs." Says Captain Obvious, also known as Phoebe the Girl Wonder.

"That's the whole point! You, Dip wad! God! The only sister worth talking to is getting laid!" Paige orbs out.

Cut to Piper and Leo…

"Oh, God! Leo, baby, don't stop!" Piper cries out in pure joy.

Cole then walks in wearing and I Heart Holly Marie Combs (She's God to me.) t-shirt.

"Sup, Piper? Hey, Leo."

"Hey, Cole." The two reply.

"Fuck, Leo! You feel so incredible!" Piper screams.

"How long you two been doing that?" Cole inquires.

"Since yesterday. With a few breaks of course." Leo informs.

"So many orgasms! So little time! It's so much better than Heaven!" Piper tells him, breathlessly. "And I would know!"

"That screaming was you?" Cole queries in disbelief.

"Every single last one! Leo! Oh, yes!"

"Is that even possible?" Cole wonders. "32 orgasms?"

"Obviously! You just have to learn how to satisfy! Yes! Oh, yes! Leo, yes!" Piper digs her nails into Leo's back.

"I satisfy just fine, thank you." Cole defended.

"That's not what Beta the Avatar said." Leo tells him.

"Oh, God! LEONARDO WYATT, YOU ARE THE BEST FUCKER OF ALL TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!" Piper then lets out the loudest, most high pitched scream anyone has ever heard. Leo's grin is ear to ear, when buries his head in Piper's cleavage.

"What the hell was that?!" the Source calls from downstairs.

"Piper just had one of the best orgasms of her life from Leo! And they're both trying to catch their breath, so can't talk!" Cole replies.

"So, Leo just made her cum?! For like the gajillionth time?!" He sums it up.

"Yeah, basically!"

"Hey, Cole, what are you doing for the next two hours?!" the Source asks.

"Nothing! Why?!"

"I wanna seduce you back to evil!" the Source laughs mischeviously.


End file.
